I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
