I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
