Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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