He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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