You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
