Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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