He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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