Just fell off a train. Bad.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
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