He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I think a kid would responsible me up
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
