he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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