Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
