im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
