It's a beautiful day for a hangover
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
