I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
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