'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
