I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
