are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
