No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
