Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
