It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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