I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
