I seem to have left my pride at pride
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
