honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Randomize