FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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