I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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