Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
