He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
