Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
why is half of my head shaved?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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