I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
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