We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
