Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
