Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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