Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
