So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
