Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
