we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
