We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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