Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
