I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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