bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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