every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
