Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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