I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
