If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
