nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Just fell off a train. Bad.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Randomize
