i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
