i just google imaged poop.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
