I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
