worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
jump out the window naked night went bad
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