wake up i wanna do it froggy style
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
