I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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