Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
