I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
