This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
